While for the most part this blog will be about books and reviewing books, I will occasionally share things non-book related. For example the wonderful adventures of parenting. So my first post will be about the adventure that took place tonight.
After a fairly sleepless night with a extremely clingy baby and a not much better day, we go to take a quick trip to the shops. We take only the Baby Bjorn carrier as it is suppose to be quick. I am walking around with Little Miss strapped to me and she does one of those squelches. You know the one? Where it’s possibly a fart but most likely it’s an explosive poo? Yeah, she does one of those squelches. I think to myself “what are the chances that she pooped and it’s leaked out and onto her pants?”… I continue to shop without checking anyway, I mean it’s not like it would be so explosive that I am wearing her poo too…
I stand in the check out, praying that she won’t vomit on me, get our shopping to the car and start to take her out of the carrier to put her in her seat and what do we find? Explosive poo. The kind that explodes out of the nappy and out of the pants. Not through the pants but out of the pants. Up the front of her nappy and onto her belly… and mine!
So after laughing the whole drive home, making jokes and trying to be light hearted about it, we finally get into our apartment and start the nappy change. Ross and I stare at the amount of poop that just came out of our Little Miss thinking the baby wipes are just not going to cut it.
I start the shower and think “I need to pee”. Now our toilet is literally five steps away from our shower. It’s an ensuite, so I don’t have to go through doors or climb over piles of crap to get to the loo. I am ONE step away from the toilet and I sneeze and slightly piss myself. I know that you experienced mothers are all “of course it happens, they tell you that it happens before you give birth”. Well they did tell me. But I didn’t think it would happen to me. After all, I did my pelvic floor exercises, I have only given birth once and for me it was a relatively easy labour. So what were the chances right? Ohhh how naive I was.
You’re thinking this story can’t get any better right? That this is the worst of it. Don’t worry so was I. Fast forward half an hour later, after a feed, a burp and another squelch, we are sitting on the couch with Little Miss refusing to go to sleep because she knows that once asleep Mummy will put her down and she is just too clingy for Mummy to let go of her tonight. Partner puts my dinner down in front of me and I am about to try and balance the baby and eat my meal when she throws up all over my hair and last clean maternity bra. Yep, right after I wash my hair for the first time in a week, she goes and vomits in my nice clean hair.
After that, I just gave up for the night. Partner can be on call for the baby! I need sleep and a break. But we all know how this ends… Little Miss will be clingy for Mummy and I will end up sleeping with her on top of me all night again.
There we go, the adventures of tonight. The joys of parenting. The experiences of a first time Mummy. Hopefully, everyone else will get as good a laugh as I do. That’s all you can really do right? Laugh away at it.
Picture from http://mom.me/home/13652-50-best-mom-memes/item/homeward-bound/